For a briefing to President George W. Bush
from Secretary of State Condaleeza (Condi) Rice
George:
Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?Condi:
Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.George:
Great. Lay it on me.Condi:
Hu is the new leader of China.George:
That's what I want to know.Condi:
That's what I'm telling you.George:
That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?Condi:
Yes.George:
I mean the fellow's name.Condi:
Hu.George:
The guy in China.Condi:
Hu.George:
The new leader of China.Condi:
Hu.George:
The Chinaman!Condi:
Hu is leading China.George:
Now whaddya' asking me for?Condi:
I'm telling you Hu is leading China.George:
Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?Condi:
That's the man's name.George:
That's who's name?Condi:
Yes.George:
Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?Condi:
Yes, sir.George:
Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.Condi:
That's correct.George:
Then who is in China?Condi:
Yes, sir.George:
Yassir is in China?Condi:
No, sir.George:
Then who is?Condi:
Yes, sir.George:
Yassir?Condi:
No, sir.George:
Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.Condi:
Kofi?George:
No, thanks.Condi:
You want Kofi?George:
No.Condi:
You don't want Kofi.George:
No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.Condi:
Yes, sir.George:
Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.Condi:
Kofi?George:
Milk! Will you please make the call?Condi:
And call who?George:
Who is the guy at the U.N?Condi:
Hu is the guy in China.George:
Will you stay out of China?!Condi:
Yes, sir.George:
And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.Condi:
Kofi.George:
All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.Condi:
(Picking up the phone.) Rice, here.George:
Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?