The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing any one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2003 winners:
Intaxication: n.Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: n.Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone: n.The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: n.Any misrepresentation about yourself made for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration: n.The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: n.Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: n.The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: v.To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: n.Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: n.A degenerate disease. This one got extra credit.
Karmageddon: n.It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon: n.The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: n.All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: n.The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit: n.The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Caterpallor: n.The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And now the pick of literature...
Ignoranus: n.A person who's both stupid and an ass.