We Take You Now To The Oval Office
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For a briefing to President George W. Bush
from Secretary of State Condaleeza (Condi) Rice


George:

Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi:

Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George:

Great. Lay it on me.

Condi:

Hu is the new leader of China.

George:

That's what I want to know.

Condi:

That's what I'm telling you.

George:

That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi:

Yes.

George:

I mean the fellow's name.

Condi:

Hu.

George:

The guy in China.

Condi:

Hu.

George:

The new leader of China.

Condi:

Hu.

George:

The Chinaman!

Condi:

Hu is leading China.

George:

Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi:

I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George:

Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi:

That's the man's name.

George:

That's who's name?

Condi:

Yes.

George:

Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi:

Yes, sir.

George:

Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi:

That's correct.

George:

Then who is in China?

Condi:

Yes, sir.

George:

Yassir is in China?

Condi:

No, sir.

George:

Then who is?

Condi:

Yes, sir.

George:

Yassir?

Condi:

No, sir.

George:

Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi:

Kofi?

George:

No, thanks.

Condi:

You want Kofi?

George:

No.

Condi:

You don't want Kofi.

George:

No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi:

Yes, sir.

George:

Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi:

Kofi?

George:

Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi:

And call who?

George:

Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi:

Hu is the guy in China.

George:

Will you stay out of China?!

Condi:

Yes, sir.

George:

And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi:

Kofi.

George:

All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

Condi:

(Picking up the phone.) Rice, here.

George:

Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
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©2004 James Bengel.